So I know I said this time I was going to do a walkthrough of a boudoir shoot, but actually I want to knock this post out first because I feel like doing some Abstract Philosophical Discussion right now.
Every now and then somebody asks me whether boudoir photography is the same as "porn." I don't think there's anything inherently bad about porn (its accompanying features, sure, but not the porn itself), but I do think boudoir is a very different thing, and in today's post I want to talk about why.
The reason, fundamentally, comes down to this: boudoir is about empowering women. Porn, by and large, is not. (I wrestled with the question of "is doing porn empowering to women?" for several years before concluding that generally the answer is no, at least not right now, not in This Dumb Society. There are a few narrow exceptions, but by and large I think the answer is mostly "no.")
That is the issue -- who holds the power, and what the ramifications of that are -- that distinguishes boudoir from porn.
It's not about artistic merit. There are boudoir photographers who produce beautiful works of art and others who just take pictures. There is pornography that has artistic merit (yes, there is; we can fight about this if you want) and there's a whole lot more that doesn't.
It's not about how revealing or explicit the pictures are, either. Boudoir tends to be softer (there's rarely full nudity and almost never anything beyond that), but that's not the decisive factor. There are plenty of "art nudes" and softcore sites that really aren't a whole lot more explicit.
The key distinction is about power. In boudoir, the woman has it. In porn, she generally doesn't. So, literally, one is empowering and the other is not.
Here's my argument for why:
1. Boudoir removes the element of money-as-coercion.
This is the big one. In boudoir, the woman is not being paid for the pictures. In porn, the actress/model is working for money, whether that's from a producer/studio or directly from fans.
In theory you might think this is a good thing (money should flow to the model! the women in porn are higher paid than the men!). In practice, that money often operates as coercion.
Porn models and actresses tend to be young; they tend to be less educated (in part because they're young); they frequently have limited options for supporting themselves financially outside porn. If you're dependent on that money for a living, then the promise of more money, or the threat of losing it, can be used as a cudgel to make you do things you wouldn't otherwise choose to do. It's like every long-suffering and short-skirted cocktail waitress who's forced to put on a smile and play along with a skeevy customer, but ramped up 100x.
In boudoir, because the woman isn't being paid for what she does, that element of coercion is gone. The absence of a financial incentive means that the woman has full artistic freedom. She can do exactly as she pleases, revealing as much or as little as she likes. She can walk away whenever she wants. All the power is hers.
2. In boudoir, the woman controls her own image.
Another aspect of power and coercion in porn is that the actress/model does not control her own image. Her pictures and/or videos go up on a website where they can be displayed, advertised, and manipulated without her input. She has little or no ability to take them down, and little or no ability to bury her past if and when she ever decides to try shedding it.
That doesn't happen in boudoir. The woman owns and controls her image. She might choose to grant permission for the photographer or makeup artist to use her pictures, but the pictures are hers, so she gets to choose. If she wants to limit those permissions, she can. If she wants them to never be on the internet at all, she can -- many boudoir photographers, like Lori Mann, transfer images via flash drive and good old-fashioned prints on paper, which means they're never stored or transmitted online (unless you choose to do that yourself) and can never be hacked.
Thus, in boudoir, your privacy is yours and, if you choose, inviolable. Of course if you want to make your images public, you can choose to do that, but nobody is going to force you.
3. Boudoir celebrates the woman as a person, and intimacy rather than anonymity.
This one is, I guess, more about the psychology and romance of it than hard dollars-and-cents economic coercion, but I think it's important and also goes to empowerment: boudoir is a deeply personal experience, a creation and celebration of the individual woman.
Her pictures might just be for herself, or they might be shared with someone very close to her, but they aren't meant for the faceless public and they aren't about turning her into a product. It's about her. No one else on earth could stand in her place or carry the same value as that individual woman.
In (most, not all, but most) porn, a woman is a widget: she is depersonalized, pushed into a more-or-less uniform mold, and put out for consumption. She is seldom her own person, and never known in great depth; most often she's a canvas for the viewer to project their own fantasies onto, and if there's any semblance of personal warmth or friendliness, it's as professional and superficial as an airline stewardess's smile.
Some of that's inevitable: that asymmetry exists between any performer and her audience. And it need not always be a bad thing; there are some women for whom that exhibitionism has its own thrill. But by and large, my perception is that porn churns through new faces and new bodies with little regard for them as anything other than novelties, and that it tends to evaluate women strictly for how profitably their bodies can be monetized, and that this is damaging rather than bolstering to women's self-esteem.
(I should note that this is mostly a criticism of the economics behind porn rather than the porn itself, but the effect's still there and it still exploits young women's uncertain self-esteem to pay them less, regardless of the damage that might do to their self-worth and sexuality. Coupled with the rampant misogyny that runs through the industry, the upshot is that they generally leave with little money and less pride.)
In porn, by and large, you're replaceable. You're processed and presented to a largely indifferent audience as one of many. There's no real relationship, and you're not particularly special.
In boudoir, it's the opposite. You are irreplaceable. You are the only one of you, and you are presented to a very tiny audience (maybe just yourself and your photographer). The privacy, exclusivity, and relationship between woman and viewer (if any) change the dynamic considerably.
It isn't about strangers gawking at a body. It's about the close and unique connection between people.
And that's why I think boudoir photography can be extremely empowering for women, and why I don't think it's much like porn at all.
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