But before I launch into all of that, I want to preface it by saying: it's not just vanity. I think that sometimes, for some women, it's hard to conceive of spending that much time and money on pictures of yourself. It can feel like a frivolity (which, sure, it kinda is; certainly I'd never argue it's a necessity), or like a needless vanity.
I'd like to gently push back against that idea. First, as I said earlier, I think a gift of boudoir pictures can be a deeply romantic gesture: it's a symbolic and literal giving of the self, and an expression of both intimate confidence and intimate vulnerability. It isn't all about you; in the context of a relationship, it can be a significant gift to share.
But also, I'd argue that vanity can sometimes be a good thing.
You should be proud of yourself. You should consider yourself worth admiring. Few of us suffer from too much self-confidence, and taking a measure of pride in yourself is, in my view, a good thing. If it motivates you to get a little more exercise, eat mindfully, and avoid self-destructive habits, then I am all for vanity. And I feel pretty strongly that women who own their sexuality and are possessed of solid self-esteem are more likely to assert themselves in relationships and less likely to settle for partners who don't afford them the respect they're due, so I'm all in favor of whatever helps strengthen that, too.
YOU CAN BE VAIN. IT'S OKAY. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION.
So! With that out of the way, I'd like to start walking you through the process, with some thoughts on how you might maximize your chances of having a good experience and getting some nice pictures.
In my previous post on boudoir photography, I talked a little about what I think the overarching goals of the art form can be: empowerment, exploration, and capturing a sense of one's unique sensibility, whether that's playful or sultry or anything else you like. But I didn't really say much about how you actually do that.
First (and foremost!): Find a boudoir team that is experienced, approachable, and versatile.
The best teams have a gift for bringing out each woman's individual personality, rather than trying to airbrush them all into the same artifice.
In Philadelphia, I opted to work with Lori Mann and Aleksandra Ambrozy in part because I saw that talent for showcasing diverse beauties demonstrated in their portfolios. Lori's blog post Rockin' Her Curves celebrates a plus-sized model -- but more than just the complimentary words and pretty pictures, I appreciated how the set was put together. It shows a team that knows how to bring out the lady's best features and portray her with poise and confidence.
The poses flatter the model: the first is soft and reflective, framed to emphasize her upper body, while the second (reposted above) arches her body, pulling her back and arms upward in a series of curves that elongate her figure. The lingerie is thoughtfully selected: that black lace garter has a broad band which wraps around the model's hips instead of cutting in, and the leopard-print motif (brief, blanket, and heels) suggests a fierce and sassy air, which the model's facial expression and black gloves accentuate.
Put together, what you see is a plus-sized lady whose pose and outfit indicate a retro-kitten playfulness, but with an underlying fierceness; whose clothes, framing, and positioning flatter her figure without hiding or making excuses for anything; and whose makeup, softly smoky but not hard-edged or overwhelming, completes the overall picture of a woman who's firmly in charge of herself but more than ready to have fun.
That's a lot to pack into two pictures, but it's there, and it celebrates a lady with an ever-so-slightly untraditional look. She doesn't look like every other model on the internet. She looks like herself.
I was similarly impressed by Aleksandra's blog post on a fall wedding where the bride wanted a classic look that didn't compromise her freckles. I can't think of a truer expression of "letting your natural beauty shine through" than, literally, letting your natural beauty shine through instead of covering it under a thick layer of makeup -- and that's exactly what Aleksandra did, and the effect was absolutely beautiful. Again and again on her blog, I saw a great talent for finding just the right blend of color and texture to bring out each woman's natural beauty, and an impressive fluency with lots of different looks and complexions.
Based on that, I was pretty confident they'd be able to do whatever wackiness I wanted to try. Ideally, your prospective photography team (and "team" is important; a big part of this is having professional makeup and hair, not just the photographer) will be able to do the same.
Next time, we'll talk about settling on a look and planning out a set.
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